


Nothing

by passivagrestiv



Category: Gintama
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Modern AU, Quarantine Shenanigans, Soft Sougo, based on a bruno major song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25332244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/passivagrestiv/pseuds/passivagrestiv
Summary: A warning dies in his throat as the wine comically spills on her face.“Fuck,”she sputters and then blows her stinging nose furiously.“Serves you right,” he sniggers.(For Sougo, there's nothing like doing nothing with her.)
Relationships: Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 104





	1. Nothing

Sougo pads across the length of the hallway, scratching his abdomen and yawning audibly. He suppresses a shiver as the icy dawn air kisses his skin. There is still an hour until the usual morning run at the park, but the warmth on the other side of the bed has long disappeared and he can’t go back to sleep.

He finds her in the living room, sprawled on her favorite spot on the couch and a dozing Sadaharu on the floor below her. Clad in her red tracksuit, her back is flush against the seat cushion and her legs dangle freely from one arm of the couch. His eye twitches at the wine glass pressed against her lips.

“Sit up, pig. You’ll be snorting wine in no time in that position.”

Kagura catches his gaze and gives him a half-hearted glare. Stubbornly, she tips the glass more to quickly quaff down the rest of the red liquid. A warning dies in his throat as the wine comically spills on her face.

 _“Fuck,”_ she sputters and then blows her stinging nose furiously.

“Serves you right,” he sniggers and turns his heel to saunter toward the kitchen. “If you so much as allow a drop to fall on the couch, laundry’s on you for a month.”

He returns in seconds, throwing several sheets of paper towel on her red-stained face. With a muffled swear directed at him, she grabs the sheets and roughly cleans the sticky liquor off her skin.

After refilling the wine glass for himself, he sits down beside her and sips the alcohol leisurely. She grumbles in complaint, clutching his thigh sharply, and he sighs in mock-exasperation, scooting nearer to cradle her head on his lap.

He places the half-empty wine glass on the coffee table and looks down at her. “You know I’ll throw you out if you become a drunkard like your perm-head father.”

Sougo feels her lightly flinch at the mention of _danna_ [1] and he waits, observing her knitted brows and her pert little mouth slowly forming a downward curve.

“Do you remember I told you that for the past week Gin-chan pisses like he’s pregnant, has killer headaches, and gets really scary when he’s hungry –plus, he’s hungry all the damn time?”

He nods.

“Well...When Pachi and I parted ways last night, he remembered that he left his groceries at the office, so he went back, yes?” Her frown deepens. “But he found Gin-chan vomiting in the bathroom.”

“Did _danna_ get wasted again?” He asks, fingers sifting through her vermillion locks.

Kagura relaxes a bit at the gesture, her hand reaching out to grasp the trousers of his blue tracksuit. “Nope. The Yagyuu request took up the whole day. Anyway, I was asleep when Shinpachi texted me. The doctor said that Gin-chan has high blood sugar and he’s one step away from having diabetic keto-something-osis.”[2]

Sougo’s mood dampens. Aside from Kondo-san, he holds the sugar-addicted man to a very high regard. “I’m surprised that his body lasted this long. The idiot basically breathes sweets.”

Tightening her grip on his trousers, her knuckles turn white. _“That careless bastard.”_

For a while, silence settles over them as memories of hospital beds, sickly pale skin, and whispered goodbyes rush in. But the melancholic spell is broken once Sougo kisses the lone, small red stain at the tip of her nose. 

“After our run, why don’t we let Sadaharu leave a _soft, warm gift_ on his front door, shall we?”

* * *

It is when they play Nintendo Switch on rare days in which their day-offs coincide that Sougo allows himself to watch Kagura without the threat of being relentlessly teased. 

As per usual, they quarrel over selecting a game and he begrudgingly concedes her choice (Mario Kart _again_ for the thirty-eighth time) before she can hurl her controller or the deck at his face.

Her brows are furrowed in concentration, ocean blue eyes sparkling with excitement. Her plump bottom lip is worried by her teeth if she does not shove a spoonful of _Baagen-Dash_ [3] into her mouth. Her vermillion fringes flutter in all directions as she abruptly swerves with Bowser’s vehicle like the dramatic dork she is.

He has known her for eight years, plenty enough time to be sick of her vibrant mug. Yet he never is.

Several obscenities later, she raises a triumphant fist after sabotaging his Morton and accelerating to first place. She leaps off the couch and does her ridiculous victory dance, wriggling her butt and flicking a booger at his apathetic face.

“Sadist, you’re really bad at this, yes? You lose every time,” Kagura sneers.

He fights the urge to roll his eyes. She can win every Switch game for all he cares. He has plenty other victories to lord over her. 

“Why don’t you grovel at Queen Kagura’s feet, yes? Maybe, I’ll be merciful in the next round.” She smiles in prideful glee, eyes crinkling at the corners, and only for her, the useless lump of muscle in his chest throbs –her greatest win against him, a secret he’ll carry to the grave (sometime after he assassinates Hijikata, of course).

“You’re sulking, yes?” Hand on her hip, she towers over him, invading his personal space and reducing his heart into a pathetic mess. He needs to drag his ass out _now_ if he wants to remain a sadist.

In retaliation, he pulls her curtain of luscious hair hanging before him. “No, you just look dumb as ever.”

A red controller to his face finally snaps him out of it.

* * *

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Katarina ended up with Maria, yes?”[4]

“China, it’s one in the morning.”

“She’s powerful and a good cook! Also, a pair made up of a loveable airhead and an earnest, responsible character always creates an interesting dynamic, yes?”

“I have a stakeout at five.”

“Humor me!”

“I can’t kill Hijikata while sleep-deprived, China. We’ve talked about five animes already.”

“I won’t shut up until you give me your opinion, yes?”

“Fine... I liked the blond guy.”

“Of course you do. He’s a sadist just like you!”

“He seriously needs to take his sadism up a notch though. He’s undeserving of the title, constantly bland and sentimental. But I’ll give him a pass since he’s handsome and perfect like me.”

“You must have _somnilowkey_ , yes?”

“What?”

_“Somnilowkey.”_

“It’s somniloquy, _China doll.”_

“Whatever! You must be sleep talking, yes? ‘Handsome and perfect?’ Keep dream– I can’t breathe, tax robber! This is a death grip not a hug, yes?”

_“I’m glad you’re mine.”_

“What? Are you cursing me, yes? Don’t mumble!”

“I said, ‘Bless your hairline.’”

“What the fuck does that mean? I’ve disowned my father, yes? I don’t have his balding genes!”

* * *

“I’m home,” Sougo calls out, sliding the groceries on the wooden floor further away from him as he starts to scrupulously disinfect himself by the entryway. “They only have twenty packs of sukonbu left, China. Can’t believe people even panic buy this crap.”

“Welcome back!” he hears her reply from the living room, slightly drowned out by the voices on TV. “What have I told you about sullying the name of my sukonbu, asshole? Let me remind you that I can easily close the distance between your toothbrush and the toilet, yes?”

He walks to the bathroom for a shower, tossing his clothes in a separate laundry bin that he never lets her touch. Like routine, there is a fresh set of clothes on the drying rack when he reemerges, soaking wet. He instantly bolts for the door and wrenches it open. _“Kagura,_ if you dirty the groceries with your grubby hands, I’ll kill you!”

She shushes him pointedly, “Yeah, yeah, you overprotective asshat. You know I don’t do chores until The Notebook ends, yes?” Unmistakably, the TV volume increases.

Sticking his head out of the bathroom, he blows air out of his mouth when he sees the unopened plastic bags on the hallway. “Not that you ever do chores,” he mutters, closing the door and dressing himself.

After sanitizing Koronamin C[5] and tabasco bottles, egg trays, meat packages, tea boxes, and packs of Chuubert, dog food, rice, _sukonbu_ , and other food, he pitches the packet of _sukonbu_ to her exposed stomach as she lazily lies on the couch in the living room.

On the floor in front of her, he lounges on a listless Sadaharu and sucks on the longer side of a grape Chuubert. “We’ve seen this for the seventeenth time and it’s still stupid.”

She kicks his head. “Shut up. You always sit on the floor whenever it plays because you don’t want me to see you crying, yes?”

He only hums disinterestedly, watching as Ryan Gosling gets slapped by Rachel McAdams and eats her face in return. The scene is so unnervingly familiar.

There is a tug on his shirt. “Why don’t you let me buy the groceries, Sadist? You TMPD[6] folks are busy with the state of emergency, yes? _Yorozuya_ is on a hiatus and I don’t have anything to do.”

He breaks off the empty side of the Chuubert and helps himself to the rest.

It’s Kagura’s turn to sigh, ruffling his light brown hair. “I’m not like Mami, okay? My immune system is as strong as Toushi’s hold on his life, yes?”

Discarding the hollow Chuubert, he reaches up to take her small, soft hand in his. She squeezes his calloused one. “This is non-negotiable, China.” Then, he snatches the remote beside her with his free hand to turn the volume up.

“And don’t mention that mayonnaise-inhaling bastard again. Now, be quiet. We’re getting to the good part.”

Later when the credits roll in, he feels a burning need to wipe the smug smirk off her face as Sadaharu licks the stray tears off his cheeks.

* * *

“Do you remember this, Sadist?”

Sougo lays the roller brush on the paint tray filled with ocean blue paint. It’s a month after Japan implemented the soft lockdown and he has almost exhausted all ideas on how to keep Kagura preoccupied lest she forces her way out. Today, they’re repainting the house blue.

By the upper stairwell, she dislodges a photo frame from the wall and runs down to him. There is a splatter of ocean blue on her flushed cheek. It matches her eyes.

She pushes the frame to his face and he squints at the photo. It was taken by the maid robot last year on his 24th birthday (which was an _utter_ disaster) at a beach in Okinawa. They were on a rowboat with Kagura, in a _nosebleed-inducing_ red two-piece swimsuit, grinning cheekily under her purple umbrella. Haggard and disheveled, he was on the other side, holding the oars.

“It was really fun, yes? Everyone was so drunk that they transformed into wild gorillas and screeching banshees. _Anego_ [7] sparked Jimmy and Catherine at Gori. Shinpachi thought the _baba_ [8] was Otsuu and flirted with her _._ Matsudaira and Sacchan had a singing contest and broke the karaoke. Toushi played _janken_ [9] again with Sadaharu. Kyuu-chan and Tsukki beat the living shit out of a disguised Zura and every other guy they found,” she giggles.

“We stole a rowboat to escape, but Papi and Gin-chan caught on and chased us all around, swimming like maniacs, yes? So, I knocked them out with an oar and they drowned. And then, it rained and you...” she ceases in her retelling, blushing faintly.

To be fair, she was really testing his limits that day. Her wearing a scandalous swimsuit and attracting the attention of ugly insects did a number on him. But her ethereal smile as it suddenly poured rain was the last straw and if the sugar freak did not catch up to tip the boat over, he might’ve kissed her.

A bit curious as to why she has been silent for a while, Sougo looks at her and follows her wistful gaze to another picture frame left on the wall.

_Oh._

“This pandemic sucks ass, yes?” Kagura says quietly. “I miss all of my morons.”

“Same here,” he murmurs –not because he actually misses the rowdy lot (he comes across half of them during his patrols), but because she shines the brightest in their presence.

Unable to stomach her pout any longer, he dips his fingers on the paint tray beside his foot and smears more blue over the initial splatter on her cheek and _oops_ , all over her face. A livid, roaring China girl sets aside the picture frame, seizes his paint roller, and lunges for him. In a second, he breaks into a sprint, the cool paint narrowly missing his back.

He effortlessly dodges the empty paint cans, hardened brushes, and wrapped furniture strewn haphazardly on the wooden floors. Behind him, he hears loud crashes, one after another, each punctuated by _very colorful_ curses.

Opening the back door, he thinks that she has given up and then–

_“Sougo!”_

Like a clumsy _shoujo_ manga lead, he trips over nothing and his face connects with the grass. Kagura bellows his name again and right then and there, she launches herself at him, knocking the air out of his lungs.

“Damn you, China girl,” he groans in pain. “If I die, you’ll only eat old man food again.”

“Then, just die.” She rolls him over, locking him in a straddle, and smashes the paint roller on his face. “Gin-chan told me about the widow’s pension, yes?”

“Was this _Yorozuya’s_ scheme all along?” With a grunt, he wrenches the roller from her grip, chucking it away, and clutches her slim wrists. “We’re not even married.”

Above him, her smile is ocean blue and lovely and it hurts.

“I’ll torture you till you say ‘I do,’ yes?”

* * *

Sougo stirs when the gentle fingers on his scalp stop their ministrations. Blearily, he opens his eyes and he is greeted by Kagura’s ocean blue ones in the darkness.

“Why are we on the floor?” he asks, shifting closer to her comforting warmth and throwing an arm over her bare waist.

She hides her mouth under the blanket and rolls her eyes. “It’s because of your impatient ass, remember? Even though we’re only three meters away from the bed.”

His thumb finds a spot of dried paint on her temple. “That’s on you. You know what happens when you bite my lip like that.”

Burying her face in his chest, she gripes, “You’re noisy, yes? Shut up.”

Sougo sits up and slips an arm under her knees, the other on her back, lifting her off the wooden floor and ambling to the bed. “Idiots don’t catch colds, but just to be sure.”

His steps falter when she smiles softly at him.

“What?”

“Sougo.” Her fingers tenderly graze his cheek, her eyes crinkling in fondness. “I just think that I don’t need nothing more, yes?”

* * *

_“Sougo,_ do you hear yourself?”

“I only asked for a one-day leave, Hijikata, you bastard. Not your entrails on a stick –although that can be arranged.”

“No, never mind. A leave for what?”

“It’s none of your business, yes.”

 _“Hell,_ you did it again. Living with her finally melted your brain, huh?”

_“What?”_

“The ‘yes,’ you dumbass. You’ve caught her accent.”

“...Just die in a ditch, Hijikata-san.”

“You little sh–“

Sougo slams his smartphone on the coffee table, his cheeks aglow. Of all people, the dickhead Hijikata had to be the one to hear his most embarrassing tongue slip.

And damn that woman for taking over his life without breaking a sweat.

“Okita Sougo!” she yells from the kitchen.

Recognizing the slur in her words, he almost pops a vein as he stomps to her location. “Kagura, I take my eyes off you for one _fucking_ second and now you’re drunk!”

“This is a good Jimmy, yes?” By the dining table, she victoriously raises the bottle of Yamazaki whisky, the one he kept hidden behind the stack of dusty, useless plates in the upper cupboard. There is a phantom burn in his throat when he notices that it’s almost half-empty.

“Give me the bottle, China.”

“No.”

“You’re hurting your throat, you goof. Hand it over.”

“I have a name, yes?”

“Kagura, give me the bottle.”

Hugging the bottle protectively to her chest, she taps on her smartphone with her free hand. An English R&B song blares from its speakers. He doubts that she could understand the lyrics any more than him.

“You want Jimmy? Dance with me, yes?” she slurs, giggling uncontrollably.

She scrambles to climb on the tabletop and rises wobblingly to her feet. Not wasting time, she twirls around clumsily like an overexcited toddler. “Everything’s spinning!”

Gulping at the sight of her high heels (for her Sunday’s best, she says), he wraps his arms around her thighs and brings her down despite her protests. “Fine. I’ll dance with you, okay?” he relents, freeing the whisky from her firm grasp.

With his hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders, Kagura is pacified and they slowly sway to the calm tone of the song’s chorus.

“Hey, Sadist.”

“Yeah?”

“For the past month, we’ve been basically doing nothing, yes?”

“What? Tired of me already?”

Drawing him nearer, she rests her cheek on his chest. “No. I thought I would be, but doing nothing with you is actually quite nice, yes? There’s nothing like it.”

Sougo pauses then hums in agreement, looking up. There are no twinkling stars, just a plain blue ceiling. But in this minute space, under the roof of a house which they can call their own, is where he truly belongs. _With her._

A euphoric warmth blooms in his chest as he presses his lips chastely on her vermillion hair, on the golden band of her finger. She hums in affection and contentment, snuggling on his neck.

 _“Thank you,”_ he whispers reverently to her ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 'Boss' in Japanese. Sougo addresses Gintoki with this title. Back  
> 2 She means diabetic ketoacidosis, sometimes the first sign of type 1 diabetes in people who have not yet been diagnosed. Back  
> 3 Gintama's parody of American ice cream brand, Häagen-Dazs. Back  
> 4 About the spring 2020 anime My Next Life as a Villainess. Back  
> 5 A favorite of Kagura's. Gintama's spoof of Japanese nutritional drink, Oronamin C. Back  
> 6 Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department Back  
> 7 Roughly translated as 'big sis.' Referring to Otae. Back  
> 8 Roughly translated as 'old hag.' Referring to Otose. Back  
> 9 Rock-paper-scissors Back


	2. Omake

When the foreign R&B ends, her favorite _Enka_ [1] song plays. Without warning, she lifts her head, colliding with his chin.

“Watch it, woman!” He sends her a pointed glare, tiny tears at the edge of his eyes, as she bobs her head merrily to the rhythm of the _Enka._

Meeting his gaze, her ocean blue eyes glimmer with delight. “I want to show off my ring to everyone else, yes?”

He blinks, caught off guard. “Just post a picture on the GC or something.”

“No, I mean –can we invite them to our party tomorrow?”

“Not this again, China. I thought you like spending time with me.”

“I do! But we just got engaged, yes? I want to celebrate with the whole gang,” she pouts with pleading eyes of a puppy. _“Please?”_

He pinches his nose in frustration. _“Fine,”_ he sighs in defeat. “But I’ll lay down _many_ restrictions.”

Pulling his face down to hers, she gives him a sound kiss before darting upstairs with her phone. “Thanks, Sadist! I’ll call everyone!”

 _“Don’t invite wanted terrorists, Kagura!”_ he shouts after her in exasperation, wondering why every day it gets easier and easier for her to bend his will.

He takes her seat at the table and pours a glass of whisky for himself. After a sip, his phone vibrates briefly in his short pocket. He chuckles darkly at the text.

_From: Danna_

_Heard from Mayora. She finally turned you into an M, Souichiro-kun?_

It seems so, _danna._ It seems so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Translated literally as 'performance song.' A popular Japanese music genre resembling traditional Japanese music. Back
> 
> Ever since I was a little girl, Gintama has been my all-time favorite anime and Okikagu is my all-time favorite shipping. Sadly (though unsurprisingly), it isn't canon, but I have high hopes that they'll have more meaningful interactions in the upcoming third Gintama movie.
> 
> This fic is dedicated to girly tomboy, my most beloved OkiKagu fanfiction author. I love her works a lot and reread each one over the years, but I'm devastated that I can't find them anywhere anymore. I hope that I'll get the chance to read them again.
> 
> Hope you all liked the fic!


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